About a year ago, I had my first experience with psychedelic mushrooms.
Psychedelic Illustration
In a comfortable and relaxed home atmosphere, accompanied by a light musical ambiance, with two friends, L. and N., I consumed Blue Meanies. Like me, this was L.'s first experience of this kind, while N. was already experienced and this time he was in the role of a sober person who monitors the situation, a so-called trip sitter. In preparation for this magical experience, I used this article, which I recommend to everyone who decides to do the same.
Motivation
For those who seek deep insights into reality and human nature, having a psychedelic experience represents a logical step as psychedelics have the potential to open new dimensions in the mind. The main question is whether a certain substance can provide new insights and teach us something new about reality.If the answer is no, consumption of it boils down to seeking shallow physical pleasure, which does not appeal to the exploratory spirit. Often, the use of such substances is promoted with the aim of manipulating collective consciousness, inducing states that are easily controllable. Some of these products can be toxic, leading people towards dependency on pharmaceuticals and medical interventions, further contributing to control. The main representative of these substances is alcohol, a widely accepted poison that provides temporary pleasure and escape from reality by narrowing consciousness, making distant problems invisible. The cost of consuming alcohol is compromised health, irritated organs, decreased mental clarity, and depression after the effects wear off.On the other hand, if a substance has the potential to open new dimensions in our minds and take us to places where we can grasp truth or better understand reality, then it is worth trying. However, there is always that part of us that is satisfied with the shallow effects of the substance as an escape from reality, and we should always keep that in mind. That part will try to lead us to indulge in regular consumption using the best temptations it has, for example, exploiting that very need for new insights.
Ancient pyramidVarious theories of civilization development often involve the role of psychedelic substances, and researchers like Graham Hancock, who delve into the study of ancient civilizations, discuss this. There are frequent encounters of different people with the same entities during the consumption of the spiritual molecule, namely DMT. This molecule is produced in our bodies and plays a significant role in creating one-third of our lives, namely dreams. In connection with this, significant questions arise about the existence of higher dimensions of reality potentially accessible to conscious beings, and for which we have the key in our minds. The psychoactive substance found in magic mushrooms, psilocybin, has positive effects on people with psychological disorders, encouraging them to confront the root cause of their long-suppressed problems. Scientific research supporting evidence of the benefits of psilocybin therapy is increasing, and such cases are also presented in documentary movies like Fantastic Fungi, Magic Medicine and How to Change Your Mind. All of this suggests that magic mushrooms are substances with high potential to steer humanity back on the right path.
Expectations
Being aware of your expectations of the upcoming experience is important, especially when it comes to consuming magic mushrooms. A clear understanding of what you want to achieve can significantly shape the experience. In my case, the goal was to gain new and deeper philosophical insights, along with experiencing visual effects. My priority was to discover something new, which greatly shaped my experience with mushrooms.
The Trip
We were stationed in the apartment where I lived. The apartment had a living room with an attached kitchen, separated by a counter, a bedroom, and an exit to a private yard from each room. In the yard, green grass was growing, and ivy crept along the walls that bordered the yard. The wall directly visible from the apartment was the wall of another building, where the ivy looked most impressive due to its size. Here's what’s happened:We were sitting in the living room, L. and I were on the couch, while N. was at the computer. L. and I each took two grams of dried mushrooms each and began munching on them. I found the taste appealing; it was enticing, like a snack, while L. didn't find it particularly remarkable.N. decides to take a shower just as the mushrooms are starting to take effect, which was about half an hour after we ate them. During a conversation with L., I notice that I perceive the space around me differently. Everything still looks the same, but I see it with different eyes. I feel like I'm rereading a book I've already read, but now interpreting the text differently. The walls are white and fresh, and the angle from which I look at the hallway beneath the hanging plant gives me a new perspective on the space. I've always loved that apartment and the amount of natural light that comes through.As I ponder this, N. emerges from the bathroom. He's wearing a white long-sleeved shirt that perfectly complements the freshness of the space. On the shirt, in the chest area, there's a sewn blue whale. He sits down at the computer and sips distilled water. The thought crosses my mind that N. is a sailor. We discuss this, and I ask, what is a sailor (sr. moreplovac)? That's someone who sails the sea. And then, the question, what is an anas (sr. plovka)? Also, something that floats, like an animal. L. doubts that. We laugh, and N. googles the word "plovka". It becomes even funnier that N. is sober, at our service for exploitation, like a window to the real world through the internet. L. poses the question, what is a buoy (sr. plovak)? Fishing equipment.Waves of warmth slowly surge, and it seems like each one breaks through more intensely. Although N. plays music, I believe that the mushroom is the DJ of this party. It slowly permeates, exuding confidence and enlivening imagination. It has now become a created entity in my mind, wearing glasses and playing music. It has entered my being somewhat, and it knows it will enter even more.Time passes, and L. gets to experience distortions and visuals, but I don't notice any visual differences. Yes, it was very amusing, like we were high, but nothing particularly special is happening. L. thinks I'm resisting the mushroom, and N. didn't understand what the mushroom was until I explicitly explained to him that it's a figment of my imagination. This realization puts me in a different state. I understand how the mushroom actually fails to enter; it's no longer as confident, and it's a hilarious thought because I imagine it getting annoyed that its expectations are shattered. I experience an ego trip; the mushroom can't affect me, I'm stronger than it. I take another 2 grams, but as time passes, nothing happens. As I openly talk about it all the time, I start having self-deprecating thoughts because I talk so much. I condemn myself for demanding attention and taking up space, and I have the impression that because of me, they can't enjoy their experience. L. talks a bit about his visuals, and I'm just rambling, which makes me realize that talking and experiencing are not the same. Furthermore, they are mutually exclusive, and while I talk, I won't feel anything.I decide to consciously break that cycle and isolate myself in the bedroom to give them space and calm my mind. I experience an escalation of negative feelings just before isolation, when I physically feel a sensation similar to that before fainting, which I am familiar with because I have fainted around ten times in my life. I confirm to them that I will isolate myself and assure them that everything is okay. I lie down in bed, and my mind slowly calms down.Through the glass, I observe the courtyard and three grapevines that seemingly form the shape of an inverted human head. Although everything is the same as it has been so far, i.e., there are no distortions, I realize that I have never noticed this shape before. Two ivies make up the outline of the head while the central ivy, which is the strongest, runs through the middle and weakens from the forehead to the neck. In my mind, the hermetic principle of mentalism rings loud.
“The All is Mind; the Universe is Mental."”
Everything starts from the head; everything that has come into being began in the mind. Every human idea that resulted in something in physical reality began in the mind. All good and all evil in the world started in the mind. The struggle between good and evil is primarily a mental battle that these metaphysical phenomena lead on the level of the amount of minds through which they will manifest.Drifting through these thoughts, I experience an ability for extreme focus. Focus is something I consider one of my strengths, but here it was a visual focus on a small twig of the vine I was observing. Looking at it, I could notice the tiniest details even though they were distant. I noticed every shadow and roughness on the wall enhanced by sunlight, and soon came the only moment when I experienced visual distortions in the form of movement of the vine branches. They didn't move as smoothly as I expected them to, but it was more like a slow change of frames in old cartoons where a clear jump from one position to another is visible.Soon after came, without comparison, the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced, the feeling of the purest and fullest love towards myself. It was like receiving the most beautiful hug ever, from myself to myself, and melting into it, bathing in my own love. Everything was warm and soft, and I felt more peaceful than ever before. I felt like everything was in its place, and I realized that this is my natural state. This is the natural and healthy state of a human being, from which we have deviated from our path.As this wonderful sensation passed, at one point I realized that I received what I was looking for. This experience, the beginning and the end, which encompass two intense feelings, ego trip and self-love, connect into one circle. It was a philosophical insight gained through experience! This insight is as follows: The need to control others, jealousy, and the desire for everyone to behave according to our standards is a pathological deformation that arises from a lack of self-love. Only a mind incapable of giving love to itself demands that others fulfill that need, thus occupying space and demanding attention from others. And since others express love in their own way, that need will never truly be satisfied if those from whom it is expected are free to do so. Therefore, the need for control arises, and others are demanded to behave according to expectations.Exactly this is the root of the problem that leads to the need for domination and coercion of others into arbitrary rules without grounding in moral principles. Rulers, like many other people, are marked by many traumas that lead to self-hatred. And being intelligent enough to deceive, they manage to coerce others into submission in an attempt to fill the voids within themselves.After this complex insight, other thoughts followed. One was the realization that things fall into place based on how we color them with our own perception, i.e., that whatever happens to us, we always have a choice between dwelling in a victim mentality or embracing a fighter mentality. The victim mentality comes from refusing to confront the situation, i.e., refusing to accept reality. It comes from the unrealistic desire for what happened not to have happened. On the other hand, the fighter mentality comes from acceptance and grounding in reality, no matter what it is. Perhaps the situation is such that we can't do anything about it, in which case we should accept it as it is. And if we can do something about it, no matter how insignificant the attempt may seem, we should do it with the acceptance that it is the best thing we have at that moment.The next thought was a confirmation that the impression of the visual experience of the substance conveyed through storytelling was exaggerated. Perhaps it's just me, but when I listened to others talking about their psychedelic experiences, I created inflated expectations. Unlike my expectations of something intense, the experience I had was not so much physically strong as it was psychologically profound. Throughout the entire trip, I was fully functional and saw everything just as it always is. What was changed was the depth of how I interpret things.I also realized that conversation is never neutral; it always carries a certain amount of ego and vulnerability. When we speak, we give of ourselves, so depending on the environment, topics, or current state, the words we speak leave behind varying degrees of openness and sharpness. An analogy is a castle that opens its gate to let people in and receive messages from strangers who are waiting outside. Depending on the situation, people will come out with more or less trust, and their defenses against unexpected attacks will be more or less prepared.One of the interesting feelings I experienced while lying on the bed was hunger and satiety at the same time. I was hungry and thinking about eating something delicious, but also satiated because I wouldn't interrupt this state for the sake of satisfying my taste buds. The thought of roasted cashew nuts was pleasant, but the current bliss was even more beautiful.
Consequences
Since I felt completely functional throughout the trip, there wasn't a clear moment when the trip ended, so I like to say that the trip never really ended. In a way, this is also true because the experience I had didn't just stay in the past; during it, I created a useful tool that I regularly use. Whenever I need to, I can ask myself where I am now in relation to that feeling of bliss and genuine self-love. I know how to recognize when I'm closer or farther away, and I know when apathy sets in and when self-hatred begins, so I can adjust accordingly.The fact that this substance is illegal, that the widely accepted idea is that it's okay to apply physical force to someone who uses it, is just another example of the depth of immorality into which today's civilization has fallen. The mind is manipulated to such an extent that it fails to understand that consciously ingesting anything into one's own body is the right of every conscious being and that physically preventing it is violence. Instead of respecting people as sovereign beings and holding them accountable for the consequences of their actions, we support prohibitions that create an environment where the company of psychological children in adult bodies is preferred to adults who take responsibility for their actions. Instead of holding someone accountable for what they do regardless of the substance they consumed, we blame the substance. In this way, in addition to immorally preventing someone from doing what they want with their body, a culture of justifying violence is also cultivated, because people tend to accept the excuse that the aggressor consumed some substance, so they were not entirely themselves, and therefore they should somehow magically be consideres less guilty.To truly understand why bans and permissions from authorities are immoral concepts, it is necessary to understand at least the pillars of morality, which you can read more about in
that demonstrates the far-reaching implications of the logic of bans and permissions in a straightforward manner.When all is said and done, psychedelic substances are not a game, but a serious matter. Before embarking on experiences with them, it's important to be aware of the intention you have and the goal you want to achieve, and to be in the right and conducive environment, where you feel safe, for consumption. Once you've achieved that, they will take you on journeys you've never been on, show you things you've never seen, and guide you to various truths.
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